After having such a busy weekend last week and a busy beginning of the week with Uni (although I had needed to have a nap on Tuesday afternoon). I had my oncology visit on Wednesday and picked up my new batch of 140 tablets to start taking on Thursday. On Wednesday night I had been given free tickets to “The Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber” and as I love the ‘Phantom’ etc (as all my Youtube links on Facebook on Thursday will attest to), even though it made for another late night, I couldn’t turn the tickets down and took SisM with me. It was a wonderful performance of all my favourites, so I don’t regret going, but I think that is part of the reason that when I started to take my Xeloda on Thursday the side effects hit me harder. The nausea and the other pesky side effect started making themselves known immediately, although I managed to get them under control with my trusty pills, it still added to my genearal lethargic mood and tiredness. On Friday , after I had gone out in the car to run a few errands, I realised the hand-foot syndrome was more noticeable too as my hands were a bit reddened and sore from holding onto the steering wheel. Just as well I have already made the decision to take the train as much as I can to Uni etc. Today I got up at 6-30, had breakfast and my pills, and then went back to bed at 10 am and slept solidly until 1pm. I am trying to listen to my body and when it told me ‘sleep’ that’s what I did. It is now only 6pm and I feel like crawling back into bed again. I will do so after dinner and my night-time chemo pills. I’ve had to cancel dinner out tomorrow night for Mothers Day and we’ll just have takeaways at home.
Added to that is that I have been in a bit of a weird mood emotionally, not down but a little sentimental and teary over a few things. It’s been good and cathartic in a way to let myself feel that instead of pretending to hold it all inside. The upshot of all this, is I just want to say to everyone “I’m glad you are in my life” whether you’re friends or family or fellow cancer survivors – you have all made me who I am today. I have even had this conversation in person with OH, after being together 29 years (married for 27) we probably don’t talk about stuff like this often enough.
In regards to my fellow cancer bloggers, I sometimes think I should make this blog more serious like some of theirs pushing education, advocacy and awareness of the need for more research. I sometimes don’t think I am doing enough of that stuff, but this blog primarily is about both my battle with ‘Gertrude’ and rediscovering normality. My normality sometimes includes being that advocate for change, for awareness, but a lot of the time my normality is just about my family, friends and activities -my ‘normal’ life or as normal as it can be with ‘Gertrude’ in it.