Well I havent heard anything back from the Oncologist about the review of the lung spot on my CT scan so we are assuming that they have decided that its nothing to worry about. We assume that if it had been anything that they would have got back to us by now. We do not want to assume that they are just waiting for me to have my bonescan (scheduled for next Monday) before telling me because the bonescan results may effect treatment.
Gee – there’s a lot of assumptions made in that first paragraph – isnt there? Lets hope all those statements prove to be true. Even with those assumptions, we still can’t go ahead and make any plans before I’ve had my all clear from my bone scan.
I went to see a new (more local) lymphodema therapist last week and she did an assessment but would not do any treatment without the express permission of my oncologist as one of the reasons they are doing the bone scan is groin pain she does not want to push lymph fluid towards already compromised groin lymph nodes.
I had a really good weekend with lots of outings but I actually got quite down at the first one I went to which was a belated Christmas dinner for OH’s work on Friday. Most of his workmates don’t know we are dealing with another scare and we dont want to tell everyone unless I do go back into treatment. After a while I went and sat by myself just to regroup. CH who is my friend as well as OHs came over and I was telling him that I was tired of saying “I’m fine” when everything is so up in the air. He knew most of the story from OH but when I told him the rest of it his reaction was to use expletives. I have to admit I need people to swear on my behalf sometimes. I also appreciated it when I told AW the news her first reaction was “well, that sucks!” Postivity is all well and good but the truth is cancer and living under the cloud of recurrences does indeed suck.
It’s even harder talking to the partners of his workmates that may know nothing about “Gertrude”. Case in point being when we sat down for dinner and ended up next to the new plant manager and his wife. He knew that OH was taking a significant amount of holiday time off in February, and assumed (there’s that word again) we had something planned. OH tried to fend off the questions of how we were spending that time but the boss pushed for specifics – OH is looking at me with an ‘oh shit, what do I tell him’ look on his face and I said you may as well go ahead and tell them – we were at the end of the table so I knew it was going to remain in amongst the 4 of us. “well we have to wait and see whether her cancer has come back for the 3rd time” was not the answer they were expecting.
Great icebreaker – don’t you think.
Anyway I hope to hear within the next week or so whether my positive assumptions were correct.