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  • All about Gertrude

    Gertrude is the name we decided to call my cancerous breast hence the title of this blog. Although I had to keep my breast through chemo and radiation due to the nature of IBC - once it 'blew up' it no longer looked like my breast and I couldn't wait to get rid of it. Calling it Gertrude was a way of seperating it from myself. This main page is where I write about the general goings on that relate to Gertrude, there is another page that are more a diary of treatments etc This blog is a public blog so although I am being very honest about my battle with Gertrude I have "changed names to protect the innocent" - because everyone can see it if you write comments on the blog pages please use the same abbreviations for other family member or friends that I do. Please feel free to ask questions if you want clarification because then other people who might have been wondering the same thing can read your question and our answers.
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    OH- Other Half (Hubby), OD- Oldest Daughter, MD- Middle Daugher, YD- Youngest Daughter, SB- soulja boi MD's fiance in the army (now ex fiance), OD's R OD's partner, BS- Breast surgeon whose initials just happen to be BS as well, BC- our GP (family doctor), Dr H- my medical oncologist, all other friends family etc will be referred to as initials etc
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  • SUSAN’S ARMY

    No Princess Alone button

Real Breast Cancer Awareness Part II

How do Breast Cancer fighters / survivors feel?

So much pink in October is also quite hard to for Breast cancer survivors  to handle at times.  While those that have finished treatment and have a good prognosis for a complete ‘cure’ either embrace it or ignore it, for those with a more complicated relationship with breast cancer  it is quite hard to know how to handle all the reminders.

My friend TLA sums it up this way  “I know for myself, I wish I could be on an island the month of Oct and not see anyone. People who wouldn’t even look at me when I was in treatment, let alone do anything to help me, are awash in pink. They care! Really? See I am a care in action person. Now I am the first to say that some care is invisible, like the men and women who told me I was in their daily rosary devotions, something not so visible, but very important. Some care is more visible. But my friends point is that just sticking a ribbon on it, when that is all that is done, only hurts women as it has become a feel good, meaningless symbol of caring.”

I had just been told the cancer had come back at the beginning of  October 2009 and I had to make a conscious decision on how I was going to deal with it.  I chose to take part in some fundraising activities but at the same time it was hard to deal with the advertisements on TV, the pink ribbon sales pitches,  and all the other constant reminders that I had breast cancer. 

Even some of the breast cancer charities themselves get it wrong sometimes.  The  Breast Cancer Research Trust have had two advertising campaigns in recent years that I took offense at.  While I admire their commitment to finding a cure their “Seriously, breast cancer’s not a big deal” in June 2009 really touched a nerve with me and even when they add the tag line “because we are going to find a cure in 10 years ”  it didn’t really mollify me.  And then their replacement campaign still pushing the 10 year cure wasn’t much better

You see for people like me, who’s already had one recurrence, or my other friends with recurrent or metastatic breast cancer especially IBC we don’t even know whether we are going to be around in 10 years time   and they also don’t mention that for aggressive breast cancer the ‘cure’ will still involve such life and body altering things as mastectomies and chemotherapy.  No big deal – I think not. 

Also they said such things as ‘will find a cure  for 90% of all breast cancers ‘ – ok IBC is less than 5% of breast cancers – do they mean they will find a cure for that or not? 

There’s also the ladies that are picked to be the face of breast cancer appeals -always success stories, always so positive about their successful breast cancer journeys so that when people like ‘justenjoyhim’ and ‘whymommy’ try to say something different they are shot down as being cranky or ungrateful when in reality they are dealing with the very real emotions that dealing with a recurrence scare or actual recurrence can bring.

I guess being real isnt a good marketing ploy (yes -I’m being facetious)

I’m usually way more positive than this but its a fact that Breast Cancer (especially if its IBC) is not all cutesy or sexy or  ‘happy happy joy joy ‘ as some well meaning fundraisers would portray it. As I was saying to my uni friend AW most of the time I’m positive and try to ignore or play down the more dire possiblities that this disease can mean for me personally but sometimes things happen that make it slap me in the face.

I’m not saying that  Breast Cancer Awareness Month is necessarily a bad thing I’m just saying lets be a little more real with what it actually means

For me personally its turning up to the hospital every three weeks for the foreseeable future to have IV herceptin in the hopes that it will keep me in remission.  And although I was  back  in remission May 2010 I have already had one scare and scans to check recurrence or metastasis – they came back clear – but they want to scan me again in December ‘just to make sure’.  Its having an echocardiogram every few months (next one due the week of my university exams) to make sure that the herceptin that is my ‘cure’ isn’t giving me heart failure.

Its ‘just enjoy him’ worrying about whether elevated tumour markers mean a recurrence, its ‘whymommy’ being too sick and tired from her chemo treatment from her recurrence to play with her young children.

Its my friends from Sweet Louise who are all dealing with metastatic cancer.

And especially its my IBC sisters Angela, Roxanne, and Malu who all lost their lives to this disease in the last week

For all the success stories there are still people suffering and dying from this disease and each one is one too many.

If you see a pink ribbon, remember them – I know I will.

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2 Comments

  1. This is wonderful. Thank you.

    Reply
  2. Brenda Plazio

     /  October 18, 2010

    I agree with you wholeheartedly. I lost my wonderful, young, energetic Mother to the monster called IBC. The success stories are wonderful to hear but if you aren’t careful, you could tend to believe they are ALL success stories. That breast cancer is “no big deal”. I tend to be of the mindset that we give way too much attention to this beast. It doesn’t deserve the attention. The people it affects deserve the attention. I believe in holding Hope and a possible Cure but I am also realistic. God Bless all of us who have been affected by IBC in one way or another.

    Reply

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