“boo hoo or rather Bugger!!!” was my reaction to the news I got at the oncologists yesterday. Forgive for not updating blog til now but had a lot of things to do and also wanted to get my head on a bit straighter before writing this post.
As you have been aware if you have been reading this blog I have been having a few niggles – one of which was creating swelling and tenderness in the area circled in the following picture. Unfortunately the CT scan showed I have an enlarged node (internal mammary lymph node under my rib cage) This node was not enlarged in the CT scan done at my primary diagnosis August 2008.
I saw Dr H yesterday (my head oncologist – sometimes I see his underlings) and unfortunately just by his physical exam of me coupled with the CT findings he is pretty sure it is cancerous and he is referring me to the radiation oncologists for more radiation to that particular spot. This spot was not targetted in previous radiation as it had not been shown to be affected at that time.
I asked him if there was any chance that it was something else and he said no. And as I have said to people – he has “been there seen that” so I trust his judgement. He wouldn’t have been so adamant if there was a possibility of it being anything else. And he also said if I was going to have problems this is one of the first places he would expect to see something.
The good news is that it hasn’t spread anywhere else and while I am not ecstatically happy about this recurrence it is manageable and treatable.
I had bought myself a bead for my “cancer beads” bracelet which I was intending to put on yesterday as a ” getting through the first recurrence scare” bead but now it is a ” getting diagnosed with recurrance” bead and I will not be adding my NED anniversary bead in April but adding at least another “radiation” bead and then hopefully “acheiving NED again” bead.
To some people this may sound silly but it is these little rituals that have helped me to get through this psychologically.
In other news I am definitely helping out on Friday with the local Pink Ribbon street appeal and at the motorcycle fundraising ride in Auckland on Sunday
MD is flying up for her birthday this weekend as SB is away on exercises and now with this news I am really glad she had already made those plans. We haven’t told YD as yet but will probably tell her this weekend.