One of my new mantras I say to myself when I am worried is “It’s just bubblegum”
Weird but it’s based on a story by one of the IBC survivors on the support mailing list I belong to. As most of you know I had my CT scan yesterday and although the drs are pretty sure I’ve got nothing to worry about , it doesn’t stop a case of the “what ifs” setting in. Then I remind myself of the story that DJ told to the group about thinking every little thing was metastasis.
Shortly after her initial treatment she got a severe pain behind and below her right ear. They did MRIs to rule out recurrence and as she was at the oncologist discussing the results – that was nothing showing on the MRI – the oncologist noticed she was chewing gum and suggested she didnt chew it until they had sorted out what was causing the pain. Lo and behold the pain went away and it was concluded that it was her chewing very vigorously on her gum that had caused stress in her jaw and the muscles working it. She often refers to it when she is helping those of us that are just out of treatment when we re not sure what niggles to worry about.
So folks I hope that no news is good news as far as my CT scan is concerned and that on my followup oncology appointment on 6th October that they will be able to say that my niggles are just scar tissue or lymphodemas related issues (my version of bubblegum)
As I have written before, before chemo I didn’t need glasses but shortly after starting chemo I found I needed glasses for reading. I found out later from my oncologist this is because the steroid we take to counteract having allergic reactions to the toxins in Taxotere can harden the corneas. I went to an optometrist and they said they would not test me until I got the go-ahead from the oncologist. The oncologist advised to wait at least 6 months from the end of the taxotere treatment and said to wait until I had finished the herceptin too.
So I went 2 weeks ago and got my eyes tested, and boy I was blinder than I thought! He tested my distance vision as well and found that I have a slight decrease in distance vision. I also have astigmatism, light sensitivity and bad short range eyesight. I have had to wear sunglasses all the time in sunny weather so the light sensitivity was something i had already self-diagnosed.
With all these issues I ended up spending more on glasses than I intended but did get the two for one deal at Specsavers. my glasses are both progressive (see distance up the top, reading down the bottom and working on computer screens in the middle) and transitional they go dark out doors in strong light but are clear under inside lights.
I am hoping this will stop me getting so many headaches from eyestrain and because I will wear them all the time it will stop me needing to have both sunglasses and reading glasses on me at all times.
The optometrist did say given my age (46) some of the eyesight degeneration was just age-related but I believe the chemo just accelerated the process.
I worked longer shifts than I should have a week and a half ago due to our manager’s dad dying and me covering her shifts then one of the other girls T being sick on the Saturday so I worked longer and A (another girl) taking the Friday afternoon on short notice off so on the Friday I worked all day in the shop by myself. from 8.30 in the morning to 6.30 at night and was very busy (biggest friday sales for a long time )- due to the nature of the terminals it is very repetitious movements of the right arm and although I was wearing my sleeve I ended up with lymphodema related problems and also fatigue and my shoulder muscles etc just seized up it took me several days off before things settled back down.
It has really reinforced my decision to go to Uni next year as I cant see myself being able to work the same amount at my old job as I did before. The manager’s back and we were discussing that we have two casual staff leaving. If I was back to normal I would have grabbed those hours to get me back to working more the hours I used to, but it’s just not possible at the moment. However I am going to train the replacement that she is advertising for at the moment, because that means the trainee does all the actual work and I just need to sit or stand there and tell them what to do. I will continue being their casual fill in person as needed once this new person is trained.
I am off to visit MD in Christchurch for the next week. Taking YD for her first trip on a plane so that is exciting for her. Will post another blog post on return