Exactly a year ago today I was sitting in a doctors office being told I had cancer – not just cancer but a rare, aggressive “this may kill you” type cancer. WOW and I’m still here!!
Part of me can’t believe its been a year. I still remember sitting in that office as clear as day.
I am glad I have been busy with normal life things so as to not dwell on this anniversary too much. We are getting ready for a garage sale of a lot of our old stuff and a lot of stuff MD left behind with her move. I worked 3 days last week fill-in shifts at my old job for the person that is away on holiday. I also worked this morning.
I am still having a lot of ‘fun’ with the recognition factor. I am surprised at the people who do recognise me and those that have known me for years that walk past with no hint of recognition. This has been more obvious with me going back to work. There are people who were my regular customers that recognise me straight away and others that assume I am some new person starting. If I see someone trying to figure out who I am I usually give them a few clues and once we start talking they click but those who are completely blank I dont even bother about.
I think the trouble is that for many people the recogniton factors for me were my brown curly hair and my rather large bust. Now that I have neither of those they think I look vaguely familiar but because I have neither of the old ‘instant recognition factors’ they dismiss me as someone who vaguely looks like someone they know. Well that my theory on it anyway. As long as my close friends and relatives know who I am, I am not too worried about losing a few friendly aquaintances. I had one friend who hasnt seen me for a year or more tell me today that I was looking much better than she expected from what she had seen on my blog – she says the pictures don’t do me justice – but that I dont look like the me she remembers
I was supposed to start a “Moving Forward” course done through the Cancer Society but in a phone call today they have postponed me doing it until I have had my last herceptin and have the all clear from my doctor to do it.
I can do the course in October but am going to see the counsellors for some 1 on 1 sessions before that as I feel I need to do something to get myself “moving forward” I am feeling at a bit of a loss what I want my new reality/normality to be.
On the bright side today is also the anniversary of OH and my first date, 27 years ago, when he was 27 and I was 19. I wonder if we will get 27 more?!