It’s 6:20 am on Friday and I have just seen the sunrise out my window. Looking towards the domain gates the sky was all orange and pink over the trees – very pretty!
Well I’ve been in hospital for two days now and getting used to the idea that I will be in for a couple of days longer. I didn’t realise how bad I was feeling until I felt is much better. It was such a gradual slide from tired to very tired to sick that I didn’t realise until it got bad.
The next day after the IV antibiotics had started to take effect I felt so much better. I haven’t run a temperature at all but they say that sometimes when your white blood cells are low your body isn’t actually fighting infection enough to actually cause a fever. The reason I am in hospital is my white blood cell count is too low to fight the minor infection that I have in my portacath incision and I need IV antibiotics and injections of GCSF to boost my white blood cell count. I’m learning lots of new medical terms like how white blood cells are called neutrophils and when you are low on them you’re called neutropaenic…
I’m being a very impatient patient – the enforced bed rest (captivity!) will probably drive me nuts before I leave. I’m not allowed to go for too much for of a wander or anything because I’m not allowed to expose myself to unnecessary germs – for the same reason, OD hasn’t been able to visit me, as she’s a bit sniffley. My first day was spent in a mixed room that had men and ladies in it and I was in a bed closer to the door with the curtains shut half the time. Yesterday about tea-time, I got shifted to a female-only room and I have a bed by the window so feel a little less claustrophobic.
Part of me is having trouble with the fact that my life has changed so dramatically in the last two months. The person that has to resign herself to being in hospital seems a long way away from the pereson I was at the beginning of July before all this started. I have to learn not to get too busy on my good days. I probably overdid things on my first chemo cycle and that is why things got on top of me so quickly this time.
I had hoped to work during the third week of this cycle but that’s now doubtful. I was just going to work one shift on a non-busy day just to see how I went but I am going to have to flag that away and just concentrate by getting my strength up before the next chemo cycle.
This afternoon MD and YD are coming up to visit me. We thought that it would be better to show YD that I’m fine (well, relatively speaking LOL) and I’m not too sick and there’s nothing to worry about rather than have her stressing that I’m too sick to see her. Part of me feels guilty about being in here (stupid – I know!!) but the fact that OH et. al. have to come up and visit me instead of us all relaxing at home just bothers me.
I’ll probably write another missive from the hospital if I’m in longer than Sunday (I get to go home once my white blood cells start rising again) and I’ll get OD to type it in again. Thanks to OD for typing out for me on the blog and for being able to decipher my handwriting enough to do it (note from OD: I’ve had almost 21-odd years of practise!).