It sort of hit me today with going to see the oncologists and the Cancer Society today that this is really happening to me. I guess I have been so busy ‘organising’ and other things that most of the time it has seemed quite surreal to me. But with chemo starting on Friday along with the inevitable side effects, it has really got to me today that this is the end of my life as I knew it. now there will be life before Gertrude (BG) and life from today onwards. What ever happens from here on will be always affected by Gertrude.
The oncology visit: OH went with me – didn’t learn much more about my treatment other than I need to take steroid tablets the day before, and for a few days after chemo. this is to combat the possibility of allergic reaction to Taxotere, They measured me and weighed me – to ascertain the dosage of chemotherapy that I will be getting. they also gave me some anti-nausea medication. Once I have had my first couple of rounds of chemo they are hoping to see a reduction in the amount of inflammation I have, but because of the nature of Gertrude things will be constantly reassessed as treatment goes on. The steroids have to be taken 12 and 6 hours before chemo so I have to be awake at approx 4am Friday morning to take the second one. After treatment it is 12 hourly.
After seeing the oncologist we decided we would pop over to the Cancer Society building and see what resources were available to me – talked to a lovely nurse there who told me about the things I was entitled to. The Cancer Society has Liaison nurses who sort out what you need at home in the way of support and also help you to sort out your treatment regime if things arent going quite right in between treatments – I registered for that service. She will probably be in touch next week to see if I need any support or anything. I also got some books out of the library there to help explain things to YD and a couple of books for me to read as well. I will probably do a “look good feel better” work shop through them a bit further along in my treatment. This will help with makeup and wig/scarf tips etc.
Got a lovely text from my youngest sister F today while I was just leaving the hospital today. Although she lives several hours drive away, she is going to try and come up for my “shave party” and if she cant make it is going to get people to sponsor her to get her hair shaved down where she lives in solidarity with me. I think its a lovely thought. I don’t expect people to shave their heads in sympathy with me and have told OH he definitely can’t because I think it wouldn’t suit him but if YSF wants to I am not going to stop her.
This afternoon I am having my usual afternoon tea with YD then take her to Vibratrain. She knows I am starting my medicine and won’t see her as usual this weekend because the medicine is going to make me not feel very good. We are still tossing up whether or not to tell her I have cancer or just continue with the whole “sore boob need lots of medicine” story. I think we will probably tell her when I have lost my hair just in case someone sees me and says something in front of her.
Might write more tomorrow.